Seeing in a New Light - Peppy and Trimly Fit

Reframing Old Ideas

Let’s say you have created a vision of a goal you would like to achieve. You are all ready to hang this glowing picture on your wall so you can see the goal before you all the time and act on it. But you can’t because the frame is broken and the wire on the back is missing. And it is lopsided and grimy. The old frame is obnoxious and obsolete and a downright obstruction to your vision.

This is similar to the way we frame our ideas in our minds. We surround them with objections such as:

I can’t.
I’m not in the habit of it.
This is not the way I am used to doing it.
Everybody says….

And on and on we tell these stories to ourselves so we feel defeated before we even start. Or we give up after the first setback.

We need a new frame, a nice sturdy, beautiful frame, opulent with iridescent gold leaf and optimized with a wire and the right hardware on the back to hold the wire in place, an opportunity of a frame. We want to frame the vision of our goals that we are holding in our minds with optimistic ideas of lots of possible opportunities.

We could move forward so much more rapidly and easily if, at each step along the way, we ask ourselves, “How can I turn this little (or big) obstacle into an opportunity?”

Maybe you don’t know how to do something. You might pause and learn how to do it. Then you will have a new skill in your back pocket that you can use to move forward even faster, now that you have it.

A Short Story

There was a period in my life when I could never find anything around the house. I would spend hours looking for where I had, thoughtlessly, left the scissors, or the stapler or the pliers or screwdriver or, heaven forbid, my KEYS! All the while I would be getting more and exasperated, frustrated and furious until I didn’t have any energy left for anything even after I did find them.

I decided that I would take a month and, little by little, decide on a special place where I would always put something so it would always be there when I needed it again. I created a little home for each item to call it’s very own. And I always put it pack in its little nest every time I was done with it for the day. And then I never had that problem again.

EXCEPT!!

I had a housemate who was always borrowing these things and then rushing off and forgetting to return them, leaving them in his room. So, I still couldn’t find anything unless I trudged upstairs and hunted for them there. (Got a lot of exercise!)

So, for Christmas, when he opened his gift from me, it was a box filled with pens, pencils, erasers, a stapler with staples, a couple screwdrivers, pliers, a can opener, a bottle opener, a roll of scotch tape, a roll of masking tape and I few other things I don’t remember anymore. They were all individually wrapped so – no hard feelings. Neither one of us ever had that problem again. We laughed when he opened each one and greater harmony existed in the household.

So, Reframing is

Surrounding the Vision of Your Goal with a Frame

Old Frame New Frame

Obstruction Opportunity

Obstinate Optimistic

Obstacle Optimize

Object to Option

Obscure Open (hearted) Operator

Obliterate Optimum

Obnoxious Opulence

On a more serious level, cognitive reframing is a psychological technique. It consists of identifying and then disputing irrational or maladaptive thoughts. This is also as a technique used in Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP).

Is the Glass is Half Full or Half Empty?

This example shows how the same event can be looked at in a positive or negative light. Positive reframing means reconsidering things in a positive light. It is a powerful way to transform your thinking. Optimistic thinking is a skill that helps people to overcome adversity and reach life goals. Reframing is a way of viewing and experiencing events, concepts, ideas and emotions to find more positive alternatives and be more resilient. It can be a wonderful tension de-fuser when done with humor.

We sort things into categories to help us to “simplify the world.“ That is so that we will not be swamped by the variety in our world. When we use different categories, different information becomes available or activated in our minds, and that influences our perceptions and actions in that situation. This information is stored in concepts or frames. Another word for concepts or frames is a paradigm. A paradigm is like a fence or a box around ways of thinking. Sometimes we need to build new fences. We can now better understand the power of reframing.

Metaphors are Frames

Expressions such as “seeing things in a new light” and “new ways of looking at things” are examples of metaphors. Such expressions borrowed from the field of vision and seeing are used to talk about understanding, about the workings of the mind. You might say, “Understanding is seeing” or ”I see what you’re saying” or ”I view it differently”, or ”Now I got the whole picture” or ”I see what you mean” or ”From my viewpoint, his assumptions aren’t clear.”

Metaphors can create new perspectives or possible realities. These descriptions, these ”stories people tell”, can be tools for problem-solving and for change. Recognizing alternative ways of acting can enable us to deal with problematic situations differently.

Some Examples of a Metaphor

All the world’s a stage.
Peggy was a pig at dinner.
She’s a walking dictionary.
Robin’s heart was a cold stone.
Robin’s heart was a warm glowing ember.

Myths and fairy-tales, for example, could function as metaphors that we could use for reframing so that we could recognize alternative ways of acting,

Metaphors may simplify an idea or behavior by emphasizing certain elements more than others. Ogres and trolls behave differently than wizards and have different abilities, for example. Highlighting certain issues can reframe a problem in a novel way that disrupts previously held ideas and behaviors. By being willing to try out new ways of looking at a situation by using different metaphors we can try on new models of behavior for solving problems.

Creativity is “perceiving an idea from a new perspective” such as, ”You’ve made me look at things from a new point of view.” This sort of inquiry reveals how choices of frames and pigeonholes may limit our understanding of who we are and what is possible in our lives. It can show us that no person is ever completely captured by any particular frame, metaphor, or set of categories. Once we realize that, we may be able to entertain 14 alternative conceptions of who we are and who we might become.

How we see the situation can very much influence how we act in it, what our responses are and how we might approach a particular person.

A person, who regards himself as unique as being someone who rises above the crowd, will be more open to a suggestion framed as one requiring an exceptional person for its execution, rather than as one involving an easy task that just anyone can do.
A person who sees himself as ”cool”, as being in the know of things, can be induced to accept a task with a simple reframing such as, ”I know you understand the importance of this task, so I needn’t explain the obvious to you.”
A prankish or unconventional person might cooperate less with a suggestion described as ”reasonable” than one framed as, ”I know this is going to sound crazy to you, and probably makes no sense. But you might want to see what happens when you do it.”

Family therapist Virginia Satir was a master of reframing interventions. Steve Andreas (1991) has described several examples of Satir’s skills in using reframing in her practice: She [Satir] presupposed that hurtful and destructive behavior was simply a result of limited opportunities to learn how to respond more positively. Instead of these being bad things, they only tell us what we had an opportunity to learn or no opportunity to learn, that’s all. Virginia was justly famous for her ability to change people’s perceptions of events so that they saw things more positively. This made problems easier to resolve. A mother’s nagging became evidence of how much she cared. A father’s punishment for curfew violations became loving protectiveness.

So, it could have been that your parents were only trying to protect you, not dominate you. Maybe it felt that way because they were clumsy in the way they went about it because they didn’t know any better, because of how they were raised. Maybe that was the custom in their time.

Reframing can be synonymous with forgiveness.

Changing the definition of a problem so that it can be solved is the point of redefining it. For example, irresponsibility is perhaps a more negative label than depression but is easier to resolve. A muscular cramp is much more amenable to change than a hysterical paralysis. Thus, redefining should be approached with the intention of defining the problem that can be resolved, rather than with the intention of minimizing the problem. People don’t like to feel their problems are being dismissed.

Family therapist Gerald Weeks (1977) collected many examples of how to turn usually negative labels into positive ones:

Reclusive – exploring one’s own consciousness;
Withdrawn – taking care of oneself;
Passive – ability to accept things as they are;
Antisocial – carefully selecting one’s acquaintances;
Submissive – seeking authority and direction to find oneself;
Insensitive – protecting oneself from hurt;
Seductive – wanting to attract other people and be liked;
Wandering – exploring all possibilities;
Oversensitive – tuned in to other people; very alive and aware;
Controlling – structuring one’s environment;
Impulsive – able to let go; be spontaneous;
Oppositional – searching for one’s own way of doing things;
Self-deprecating – admitting one’s own faults to oneself;
Crying – ability to express emotion, especially hurt.

Focus on Your Strengths and Successes

Insoo Kim Berg notes that identifying strengths and successes and enhancing them is a more useful and powerful approach than dealing with weaknesses.

Berg gives several examples of reframing:

For example, anger is labeled as intense caring. Fighting can be a sign of one’s independence, etc.

Following are some examples of reframing:

Lazy – laid back, mellow, relaxed, taking it easy
Pushy – assertive, in a hurry, action-oriented
Impatient – action-oriented, has high standards
Uncaring – detached, allows room for others
Depressed – overwhelmed, quiet, slowing down
Aggressive – forceful, unaware of his own strength
Nagging – concerned, trying to bring out the best in someone
Withdrawn – deep thinker, thoughtful, shy and quiet.

People can reclaim their talents and gifts that their problems have hijacked from them.

For example, children can begin to view their so-called ”deficits” (short attention span, distractibility, hyperactivity, impulsivity) as special abilities, such as being able to be flexible in monitoring their environment, being tireless and/or being independent,

The purpose of such new descriptions is to help people to get in touch with their unique abilities so that they can generate their own solutions to their difficulties.

Fear of Success

Even ideas of success and failure can be reframed. For example, success can be seen as a dangerous human experience, because it might keep you from noticing other things and learning other ways of doing things. Failure can be seen as an opportunity for you to learn something that you wouldn’t otherwise notice.

At some level, all behavior was once intended for or was developed for some positive purpose. Positive intention is one of the most important and useful principles for managing change.

For example, the positive purpose behind the idea that it is not desirable to be successful may be to protect yourself from oversaturation and overwhelm or possible failure and embarrassment. We actually frequently see the effects of unprepared-for success. This happens, sometimes, to young highly successful sports figures from disadvantaged backgrounds or young stars in the entertainment industry, who are expected to suddenly become role models. Finding a mentor who can help you prepare for success is invaluable.

The positive intention behind a feeling of resistance such as, ”It is not possible to change”, might be to prevent ”false hope” or to avoid what you fear would be an unrewarded effort. You might want to ask yourself if this idea you once had to protect yourself has now become a useless handicap.

A situation that is out of your control cannot, of course, be changed by positive reframing, but reframing can certainly put things into a healthier perspective. It cannot change the past but it can definitely reduce damage to your self-esteem and peace of mind. Check out how a well-placed positive reframe can make a difference in a difficult situation. It can be a great stress reliever and set you on the path to achieving your goals.

Even ideas of success and failure can be reframed. For example, success can be seen as a dangerous human experience, because it might keep you from noticing other things and learning other ways of doing things. Failure can be seen as an opportunity for you to learn something that you wouldn’t otherwise notice.

At some level, all behavior was once intended for or was developed for some positive purpose. Positive intention is one of the most important and useful principles for managing change.

For example, the positive purpose behind the idea that it is not desirable to be successful may be to protect yourself from oversaturation and overwhelm or possible failure and embarrassment. We actually frequently see the effects of unprepared-for success. This happens, sometimes, to young highly successful sports figures from disadvantaged backgrounds or young stars in the entertainment industry, who are expected to suddenly become role models. Finding a mentor who can help you prepare for success is invaluable.

The positive intention behind a feeling of resistance such as, ”It is not possible to change”, might be to prevent ”false hope” or to avoid what you fear would be an unrewarded effort. You might want to ask yourself if this idea you once had to protect yourself has now become a useless handicap.
A situation that is out of your control cannot, of course, be changed by positive reframing, but reframing can certainly put things into a healthier perspective. It cannot change the past but it can definitely reduce damage to your self-esteem and peace of mind. Check out how a well-placed positive reframe can make a difference in a difficult situation. It can be a great stress reliever and set you on the path to achieving your goals.

Reframing Old Ideas

This is similar to the way we frame our ideas in our minds. We surround them with objections such as:

I can’t.

I’m not in the habit of it.

This is not the way I am used to doing it.

Everybody says….

And on and on we tell these stories to ourselves so we feel defeated before we even start. Or we give up after the first setback.

We could move forward so much more rapidly and easily if, at each step along the way, we ask ourselves, “How can I turn this little (or big) obstacle into an opportunity?”

Maybe you don’t know how to do something. You might pause and learn how to do it. Then you will have a new skill in your back pocket that you can use to move forward even faster, now that you have it.

A Short Story

EXCEPT!!

I had a housemate who was always borrowing these things and then rushing off and forgetting to return them, leaving them in his room. So, I still couldn’t find anything unless I trudged upstairs and hunted for them there. (Got a lot of exercise!)

So, Reframing is

Surrounding the Vision of Your Goal with a Frame

Old Frame New Frame

Obstruction Opportunity

Obstinate Optimistic

Obstacle Optimize

Object to Option

Obscure Open (hearted) Operator

Obliterate Optimum

Obnoxious Opulence

On a more serious level, cognitive reframing is a psychological technique. It consists of identifying and then disputing irrational or maladaptive thoughts. This is also as a technique used in Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP).

Is the Glass is Half Full or Half Empty?

Metaphors are Frames

Metaphors can create new perspectives or possible realities. These descriptions, these ”stories people tell”, can be tools for problem-solving and for change. Recognizing alternative ways of acting can enable us to deal with problematic situations differently.

Some Examples of a Metaphor

All the world’s a stage.

Peggy was a pig at dinner.

She’s a walking dictionary.

Robin’s heart was a cold stone.

Robin’s heart was a warm glowing ember.

Myths and fairy-tales, for example, could function as metaphors that we could use for reframing so that we could recognize alternative ways of acting,

How we see the situation can very much influence how we act in it, what our responses are and how we might approach a particular person.

A person, who regards himself as unique as being someone who rises above the crowd, will be more open to a suggestion framed as one requiring an exceptional person for its execution, rather than as one involving an easy task that just anyone can do.

A person who sees himself as ”cool”, as being in the know of things, can be induced to accept a task with a simple reframing such as, ”I know you understand the importance of this task, so I needn’t explain the obvious to you.”

A prankish or unconventional person might cooperate less with a suggestion described as ”reasonable” than one framed as, ”I know this is going to sound crazy to you, and probably makes no sense. But you might want to see what happens when you do it.”

So, it could have been that your parents were only trying to protect you, not dominate you. Maybe it felt that way because they were clumsy in the way they went about it because they didn’t know any better, because of how they were raised. Maybe that was the custom in their time.

Reframing can be synonymous with forgiveness.

Family therapist Gerald Weeks (1977) collected many examples of how to turn usually negative labels into positive ones:

Reclusive – exploring one’s own consciousness;

Withdrawn – taking care of oneself;

Passive – ability to accept things as they are;

Antisocial – carefully selecting one’s acquaintances;

Submissive – seeking authority and direction to find oneself;

Insensitive – protecting oneself from hurt;

Seductive – wanting to attract other people and be liked;

Wandering – exploring all possibilities;

Oversensitive – tuned in to other people; very alive and aware;

Controlling – structuring one’s environment;

Impulsive – able to let go; be spontaneous;

Oppositional – searching for one’s own way of doing things;

Self-deprecating – admitting one’s own faults to oneself;

Crying – ability to express emotion, especially hurt.

Focus on Your Strengths and Successes

Insoo Kim Berg notes that identifying strengths and successes and enhancing them is a more useful and powerful approach than dealing with weaknesses.

Berg gives several examples of reframing:

For example, anger is labeled as intense caring. Fighting can be a sign of one’s independence, etc.

Following are some examples of reframing:

Lazy – laid back, mellow, relaxed, taking it easy

Pushy – assertive, in a hurry, action-oriented

Impatient – action-oriented, has high standards

Uncaring – detached, allows room for others

Depressed – overwhelmed, quiet, slowing down

Aggressive – forceful, unaware of his own strength

Nagging – concerned, trying to bring out the best in someone

Withdrawn – deep thinker, thoughtful, shy and quiet.

People can reclaim their talents and gifts that their problems have hijacked from them.

For example, children can begin to view their so-called ”deficits” (short attention span, distractibility, hyperactivity, impulsivity) as special abilities, such as being able to be flexible in monitoring their environment, being tireless and/or being independent,

The purpose of such new descriptions is to help people to get in touch with their unique abilities so that they can generate their own solutions to their difficulties.

Fear of Success

At some level, all behavior was once intended for or was developed for some positive purpose. Positive intention is one of the most important and useful principles for managing change.